Goomba98

For my followers and friends on deviantArt, I'd like to give you a run-down on a series of events that lead to me being depressed in real life and less active on online communities.

As you guys could probably tell, I am a huge fan of the Touhou Project. One of my big opinions about Touhou is that the PC-98 games should not be overlooked. So I loved how xJeePx's English patches for the PC-98 games (www.shrinemaiden.org/f…) had a whole slew of omake (extra/bonus) images explaining, among other things, why exactly the PC-98 games are canon. I loved that idea; I thought that fact would get more people to look into the PC-98 games.

So it stuck into my head that the PC-98 games were canon. Later, I encountered something on one of TV Tropes' character pages for Touhou that said "If the PC-98 games are canon..." regarding Marisa's relationship with Mima, so I decided to change that to "According to the PC-98 games..."

Later on, I was in some sort of "transition" class that I was taking between high school and college, and I really hated it; I was bored a lot of the time, and I barely felt challenged by the assignments. While I was in this transition class, I found that my edit had been reverted by a user named Hylarn, on the grounds that "the PC-98 games aren't canon". I was a bit disturbed, but I tried to keep my cool as I PM'd Hylarn and linked them to the aforementioned omake. What resulted was a big fight between me and Hylarn, with me trying to inform him about the various connections between the PC-98 and Windows eras of Touhou and Hylarn just brushing them off condescendingly. I don't want to go into details here, unless you guys really want me to, but suffice to say, it made me feel really sad and angry.

Interspersed with this big fight was me trying to get help from other parts of the Touhou fandom. First I tried PM'ing both xJeePx on the MotK forum, as well as on this very website (thanks to his PC-98 Isn't Canon? thing) for more information on the canonocity of the PC-98 games. Just parroting this information back at Hylarn also proved fruitless, and in a stroke of at-the-time desperation, I even tried to get them to talk to Hylarn directly, just because I thought having people who know better than me would help sway Hylarn in the right direction. My peers didn't respond to my pleas, which frustrated me at the moment, but now I know they just wanted to not get into a fight with someone they didn't know.

Since those people couldn't help me, I decided to turn to the Misc. Questions thread on the Maidens of the Kaleidoscope forums for help. Once again, the results were not pretty: www.shrinemaiden.org/f… I mean, as you can see in FullHitPoints's thing above, why the hell would ZUN's comment on the matter at AWA '13 not prove the PC-98 games are canon? Once again, I was put down by a condescending "know-it-all" (this time Drake), and this time it came with the "bonus" of me not being able to trust the Misc. Questions thread, since Drake posts a lot in there, and now whenever I see Nazrin, I get reminded of this incident, since Drake had her as their avatar.

During this time, I also happened to be a semi-regular on the Touhou subreddit. On there, I came across two people who seemed to really not like Walfas. My first encounter was in this thread: www.reddit.com/r/touho… For context, I originally asked that guy something along the lines of "What do you think about the Walfas community?" As you can see, I was able to get my revenge due to the nature of the thread, but later on I came across another moron: www.reddit.com/r/touho… I'm sorry, asshole, but... WHY THE HELL ARE YOU CALLING YOUR SHITTY OPINION "THE TRUTH" WHEN YOU EXPLICITLY STATE IT'S YOUR OPINION LATER ON AND IT'S BASED ON WHAT YOU'VE SEEN, AND YOU EVEN SAY THAT SEEING SOMETHING BETTER COULD CHANGE YOUR OPINION?!?!?!?!?! Sorry about the swearing and caps lock there, but that guy really ruined me. In fact, it made me not want to think about Walfas for a long while.

So I was feeling really down, thanks to the knowledge that these assholes were in my online life, but I still felt I could go on with my life, and at least be able to enjoy Touhou without being in the Walfas community. That is, until my transition class was over and I felt jaded by it, which is when I decided to check out the Touhou Wiki to see Patchouli's spell cards, since I wanted to see her Philosopher's Stone (that, and the fact that I like looking at wikis in my spare time). However, when I saw that its page on the Embodiment of Scarlet Devil (en.touhouwiki.net/wiki…) called the transition from PC-98 to Windows a "clean sweep", I pretty much gave up on Touhou altogether. This was the start of a big bout of depression for me; I felt like I couldn't rely on almost any of the Touhou fandom anymore to believe the PC-98 games are canon.

This led to me and my mom looking into getting me a therapist to talk to about my Touhou-related depression. We had at least one therapist that didn't jive well with me, but we eventually found one really nice woman who compared the breakdown of my Touhou fandom to me losing a relationship. Things seemed to be pretty uphill from there; I was able to get back into Touhou at least a little bit by checking out people's fan videos (including myself being comfortable with looking at Walfas stuff again) and fan remixes, and I found some new remix circles and fanstuff creators that I really like.

However, the reason I'm writing this journal is because of some recent events that have happened with some of my peers. You see, I wanted to ask a Touhou fan that I knew was trustworthy about how to help me through my depression. I decided to ask , because I respect and value him highly. He wasn't able to help me with my problems, but he was able to suggest that I speak with , because he knew more about PC-98 stuff than Spaztique. I loved talking with DeityDiz93, since he was very friendly and I respected his views on the canonocity of PC-98 Touhou (which helped me be at least a little bit fine with how the Touhou Wiki doesn't thing it's canon), but he ended up having his own real-life problems to deal with. I wanted to ask Spaztique too, but recently, he's been going through some hard times too. Sure, it lets me know that I'm not alone, but it also makes me sad that the people who I like and trust have lives that are also crumbling apart.

I also want to get this journal out now because of some upcoming events that might affect the Walfas Station Wagon. Since Flash is nearing its end of life at the end of this year, I want to try talking with people who would be willing to preserve create.swf (and perhaps, as a bonus, all the Flash stuff from KirbyM's original Walfas blog). I also want to get this out before deviantArt permanently switches over to its new Eclipse layout - don't get me wrong, I don't have any problems with the new layout, but I know there are some people who do, and I'm afraid it might make some of my friends flee the site. (And just now, I learned the hard way to not trust the Sta.sh Writer's autosave feature, because apparently it can't recover stuff that it autosaves if your session times out when you try to post your journal entry; so I had to retype a lot of this entry. That's the only thing I have to complain about deviantArt right now - not the layout, but the buggy autosave feature.)

So please, if you have anything good to say, please say it! I feel like I'm grasping at straws with my return to the Touhou fandom. I'd just love to have backup and support from people who know me.

I was joking with my comment. I realize now that fanon is fanon, but seeing Lily Black as a separate character from Lily White bugged me. I would've apologized for it, but I was at a place where I couldn't access deviantArt. Because of this, you blocking me made me sad.
(Apology to )

...and I feel like I am going to work more on fun stuff. Like Walfas thinfs!